April 6, 2019
Conflict
In today’s Gospel, a conflict breaks out among the Jewish leaders. They are not sure what to do about Jesus. Some easily dismiss him because of where he is from and ignore the impact he is having on the people because they “do not know the law.” Others wonder if they are breaking the law in order to honor it.
The conflict arose first among the crowd. Some thought Jesus was a prophet. Others thought he was the Christ, the Messiah who God would send to save his people. Some said Jesus could not be the Messiah because he came from Galilee. No, to be the Messiah, he had to come from Bethlehem, from David’s family.
As the conflict rose, it was the guards who were uncertain what to do. They are the ones who come to the “chief priests and Pharisees.” These leaders wanted to know why the guards didn’t just arrest Jesus and bring him to them. “Never before has anyone spoke like this man,” the guards said.
The Jewish leaders, who were not with the crowd and the guards, sit in judgement. They judge the guards, and the crowd, Nicodemus – who appears to be the only one among them who had met Jesus – and Jesus before they hear him and find “out what he is doing.”
We will have conflict in our relationships. It is unavoidable. How we recognize and manage conflict, however, is something we do have some control over.
One lesson from today’s Gospel is to suspend judgement. Conflict cannot be addressed, let alone resolved, if you have already prejudged the situation and the people involved. Too often we mistaken judgement for conviction; we must hold to this principle or we will be unfaithful to all we believe in. We can enter conflict centered in our convictions without prejudging others.
It is also helpful to know our style of conflict. Some of us are aggressive, attempting to resolve the conflict through power. Some of us are accepting, attempting to side step the conflict through silence or acceptance. A third style is compromise – I will give a little, you give a little, and we will both get some of what we want. None of these styles is better or worse than others. There are situations when dominating the situation is the best way to handle it. In other situations, acceptance may be the best path or compromise.
The challenge is when the conflict is about something very important and the stakes are high, there are many opinions on how to proceed, and emotions are strong. Faced with this type of conflict, the use of power may be too costly, acceptance may be too damaging, and compromise does not appear possible. This type of conflict requires the people involved to seek a higher ground where they can collaborate on a solution that gives everyone what they really want most.
When faced with conflict, lift-up the Serenity Prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference,” written by Reinhold Niebuhr. It may ground you. Fast, or give-up, all the clutter around what you really want so you know what is most important to you. You will also have to step-up, give your time and attention, so you can create a safe environment to hear the real needs of the other and can clearly communicate your needs.
Radical conversion calls us to examine our relationships. There will be conflicts in our relationships but by entering into those conflicts, free of judgement, clarity of our real needs, and openness to the needs of others, we may discover a way to collaborate that will create peace among us.
April 5, 2019
Prejudice
As we look closely at our relationships, we quickly begin to see the dynamics of prejudice at work within us. Do we make assumptions about another person based on where they are from, the color of their skin, their nationality, their appearance?
This is the issue that Jesus is dealing with in today’s Gospel. People judged him because they knew where he grew up and believed that Messiah would come from an unknown place, “When the Christ comes, no one will know where he is from.”
Charlie comes to the church’s dinner program. Based on how he acts, we just assume he is an alcoholic and that everything he says or does is just trying to get you to support his addiction. It is hard to have a conversion with him and it is easy to find yourself half listening to him. As he begins to tell you about his life, and his ability to speak “seven languages,” you find that you are no longer listening to him at all. Indeed, you are ignoring what he says, and you are just tolerating him as you try to find a way to leave the conversation.
A missionary believes in the power of relationship, the honesty and revelation of just being with someone. This is why life-long missionaries spend so much time learning the language and the culture of the people they will live with because it will help them simply be with the people.
Prejudice is a social short-cut that frequently serves us well. We do not trust a child with the keys of the car because children do not know how to drive – even though some farm kids have been driving tractors since they were ten. We get uncomfortable with the salesman who is overly friendly and is encouraging us to “buy up.” We are suspicious of the long-winded politician who fills the space with flowery language but seems to say nothing of substance.
Prejudice blinds us to the mystery of the other. This is why missionaries value encounter; they take the time to be with people long enough for the truth, beauty, and goodness of the other to manifest themselves. Charlie really can speak seven languages.
Jesus cries out. He, like us, are a paradox. They knew where he was from, but they really did not know who he came from because only he “knows the father.” As we encounter another, we get to know their strengths and their weaknesses, their compassion and their selfishness. In the end, we are a mixed bag in need of salvation.
Lift-up your prejudices to God in prayer and ask him for the grace and wisdom to see others clearly, for who they really are – warts and all. Give-up your assumptions about groups of people – and see them in a new light. What are their hopes and dreams? How are they like you? Finally, step-up and confront your prejudice by reaching out to the people who you dismiss or ignore.
April 4, 2019
Testimony
How we “do” relationships is essential to the kind of believer we are and our ability to give life to the world through mission. Do I look at another person and “believe” them based on their looks, their wealth, their reputation?
Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” How do I decide if I trust someone or not?
This is a deeply probing questions especially in our culture dominated by media and political correctness on both the left and the right. What is the testimony that I put my faith in, that I accept as true and trust worthy?
Testimony is at the heart of today’s Gospel. Jesus is dealing with people who refuse to accept him. First, he points to John the Baptist who “testified to the truth.” John was well known and trusted by the people. Sometimes, we trust others because those we care about and believe in trust them. Essentially, we put our trust in someone based on the testimony of those we already trust.
This was not enough for the people Jesus was talking to, so he then points to “the works” he has done. Jesus is saying, if you do not believe because of John’s testimony, then believe in what I have done. We frequently do just this – we decided to trust someone based on what they do or have accomplished. Jesus had done many amazing and wonderful things, good things, believe him because of his accomplishments.
This is a tough crowd, and the testimony of John and the goodness of his own behavior is not enough for them. So, what is the ultimate authority for you. What is so foundational to you that you but your complete and unwavering trust in it. For the people Jesus was engaged with, it was scripture. Even scripture testifies to who Jesus is and still their hearts are hardened.
Finally, Jesus points to the final authority of his life. He comes in the name of the Father. What you expect from God is what you can use to judge me because everything I am and everything I do comes from him.
The saints, the works that he does, the scripture, and even God himself testifies that Jesus is the Son of God sent into the world for the redemption of the world. Still, people did not believe in him. Why? Because they did not have the “love of God” in them.
Sometimes, we do not trust others because they are untrustworthy. Sometimes, however, we do not trust others because “the love of God” is not within us. The testimony we seek – others, works, scripture – must come from and be rooted in our relationship with God. God is the first and final authority. If we are not right with God, then everything else begins to unravel.
Let us lift-up our relationships to God in prayer asking him to show us the truth – the trustworthiness – of those relationships. Sometimes we find that our best friends, those we can really trust, are not beautiful, or successful, or popular but are solid, “salt of the earth” kind of people who do the daily work of love. Fasting, we can also “give-up” the sources of false testimony; do the pundits on the various news channels point us to the substance and truth of a story or a person? Finally, we need to testify, like John the Baptist, to the truth. We need to be willing and able – sometimes at personal risk to ourselves – to step-up and tell the truth about others.
April 3, 2019
Dependency
Sometimes, when we think about our relationships, we think about them in terms of dependency. When did dependency become a bad thing? As infants, we are dependent on our parents for food, shelter, and education, just to name a few. In our work lives, we choose to be dependent on partnerships or teams to accomplish our goals. When we are sick, we depend on doctors and nurses to diagnosis our illness, develop a treatment plan, and to accompany us through the healing process. As we get older, we are more and more reliant on others to help us care for ourselves – at first doing things around house and yard, then cleaning the house, and eventually even cooking our meals and helping us with personal hygiene.
Even Jesus is dependent. He says so clearly in today’s Gospel, as he is talking about the relationship he has with the Father. “I cannot do anything on my own,” Jesus says just after he describes how the Father surrenders to him judgement; “Nor does the Father judge anyone, but he has given all judgment to the Son.” Jesus is dependent on the Father and the Father is dependent on the Son.
The problem is not dependency. The problem is who and what we depend upon. So much of the American perspective is framed by the values of “independence” and “freedom.” Those values are beliefs about the best way to achieve a good – the pursuit of happiness.
It is an act of humility to recognize our dependence. There are some dependencies we will eventually outgrow, such as our reliance on our parents for food, shelter, and direction in our lives. There are some dependencies that we freely choose that are bad for us such as excessive eating, drinking, or gambling. There are some dependencies that we form for political or economic reasons; those dependencies tend to be temporary at best. Many of our dependencies will disappoint us or even betray us.
Today, lift-up to God in prayer the relationships we depend on and turn them over to him for purification and clarification. A good friend had to clarify a relationship they had; they had become dependent in a bad way on a professional colleague that limited her own growth as a professional. We also need to fast, give-up, some dependencies that we have outgrown, or should outgrow, or have become obstacles to our growth. We also need to give ourselves over to those relationships where people are dependent on us because of their age or condition.
We are often hurt in our relationships; those we trusted, those we depend upon, will fail or, worse, betray us. God is often described as a “rock” or a “shelter” because God will not fail us nor betray us. “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal life and will not come to condemnation but has passed from death to life.”
April 2, 2019
Notice
Relationship requires us to notice. In today’s Gospel, Jesus is in Jerusalem for a feast. Specifically, he is at the sheep gate where there is a pool called Bethesda. This was a place of healing. There would be a “stirring in the water” that would have healing qualities. The sick, injured, the lame would go there, wait for the “stirring” and then put themselves into the pool.
Jesus notices a man. He can tell that he has been ill for a very long time – St. John tells us it was thirty-eight years. Jesus approaches the man and asks him if he wants to be well. “Sir, I have no one …” the man replies; he cannot get to the pool quickly enough when the stirring begins. Jesus responds, “Rise, take up your mat, and walk.” The man is immediately healed. Jesus slips away.
Noticing is becoming harder and harder to do in our society. So much of our time is sitting before some type of screen. When we are on the move, we have a place to be and are focused on getting there. When driving and are stopped at a red light, and see the beggar approaching, we feel trapped; do I have anything I can give, it is hard to reach my wallet, the light is about to change, will the car behind me start honking his horn, all I have is a $20 and that is just too much for me to give away.
Jesus notices. He sees the man but also his condition. He asks the man what he wants. Jesus never forces himself on anyone. Jesus gives a simple command and, with it, the power to carry out that command. Jesus is focused on the man, not himself, so slips away into the crowd. Jesus also gets the man into trouble; the keepers of the law only notice the breaking of the rules. It is not important the man is healed; he is carrying his mat on the Sabbath.
Who are the people we see regularly but do not really notice? Is there someone in our church community that we could get to know better? Is there a neighbor living on our street that we have never introduced ourselves to? Is there someone at work whose name we do not know?
As part of our prayerful review of the day, lift-up to God these people and ask for guidance; is there someone I pass by regularly who needs a friend? Fast from the screen; give-up a few minutes and take the time to notice the people around you. Give the gift of yourself by stepping-up, taking a few moments for a conversation, listen for what the person wants, give what you have to offer if only compassion or accompaniment.
Relationships begin when we notice.
April 1, 2019
The Sign
Relationship. Do we know what we want and how to ask for it? Do we enter a relationship centered in who we are, acknowledging what we want, and vulnerable to the other’s response? This stance of confidence and vulnerability is essential for encounter, dialogue, mutuality and solidarity.
Today’s Gospel, will sound familiar. In the Gospel of Luke and Matthew, there is the healing of the Centurion’s servant. Biblical scholars believe this healing in John’s gospel is different; this man comes for his son, the dialogue is different, and there is no affirmation of faith. In one sense, Jesus seems to make a mistake. Was he just like the others, looking for a sign?
The man was self-possessed, knew what he wanted, and vulnerable. The distance from Capernaum to Cana is over 16 miles. He travels there to see Jesus, asking him to come and cure his son who is near death. When Jesus responds with “unless you see signs and wonders, you will not believe,” the man respectfully repeats his want, “Sir, come down before my child dies.” There is no debate, push back, demand, threat or begging. He has put his faith in Jesus.
Jesus responds tenderly, “You may go, your son will live.” The man believes and leaves. Consider this last leap of faith. He believes Jesus could cure his son, traveled 16 miles to ask him, twice. Now, he believes that Jesus does not need to touch his son to cure him. His word is enough.
The man is met on the road by his servants who tell him that the life-threatening fever left his son when he was with Jesus. He returns home and his whole household believes with him. Just like the Samaritan woman, this man, after his encounter with Jesus, becomes a witness.
Think of the important relationships you have in your life. In your prayer, lift-up these relationships to God, thanking him for the blessing they are, but also clarifying how important they are to you and what you want from that relationship. The model for relationship is friendship – freely chosen, mutually beneficial, loyal, honest, and other-centered. Fast – give-up – any tendency to control your relationship. Give and give again. Step-up. If you have felt slighted, reach out rather than draw back. If you want more from your friend, regroup, and be sure the two of you are on the same page.
Finally, do I have a personal relationship with Jesus? Am I waiting for signs and wonders, wanting to be overwhelmed so I must believe in him? Do I approach Jesus, centered in who I am, knowing what I want from our relationship, and open to his response? Am I willing to travel 16 miles to just be with him and return to my life with only his word?
March 31, 2019
The Prodigal Papa
Relationship. We are in the middle of our Lenten Journey; an exploration of radical conversion. We are looking at the structural elements of our life: time, space, generativity and, by the wisdom of the Church, relationship. There is a connection between this inward journey into our soul and the welcome public drama called March Madness – college basketball’s annual championship. What is the connection? Relationship.
In today’s Gospel, which the Church gave us last week as well, Jesus talks to us about going, coming, and staying. Using the famous story of the “prodigal son,” Jesus introduces us to “the man” who is father to “a younger son” and “elder son.”
Sinners listen to Jesus. The righteous complain; he “welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Jesus responds with a parable – an allegory about the relationship between God, sinners, and the righteous.
Do you remember the story? Two sons. A divided inheritance. The younger son leaves with all he has, goes off to a distant land, squanders it all, and becomes destitute. He hires himself out to take care of the pigs. His hunger wakes him up - his father’s servants are well fed, he has sinned, he lost his inheritance, he would gladly be a hired hand. He heads home. Meanwhile, his father is watching; sees him from a distance, runs to him, embraces and kisses him, seemingly ignores his confession, wraps him in the finest robe, and calls for a feast.
Enter the older son from the fields. He hears the celebration and, when he learns his younger brother has returned, is angry and refuses to join the party. The father comes out to him, pleads with him, but the son complains about obeying, no feasts for him, and the sins of his brother. “My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.”
The story is wonderful and deserves our thoughtful consideration. Yet, Jesus tells this story to address a complaint. If sin is a sickness, Jesus is the doctor. If sin a squandered inheritance, Jesus is the merciful father who welcomes him “back to life.” The Pharisees and scribes need to live with Jesus in the land of mercy and cherish their relationship with God; “all I have is yours” and welcome home our sinful brothers and sisters. Humanity is called to be a team, working together for the common good.
We are the younger son, self-absorbed, greedy, and careless. We are also the elder son, righteous, judgmental, and stubborn. We are called to become like the Father giving all we have to our children, giving life to future generations, knitting together humanity in peace.
Racism, for example, is the belief that one race is better than another. Racism is a sin. I am a sinner. Therefore, I am a racist. Sometimes, it feels like quicksand. Racism is all around, dragging me down, and anything I do makes it worse. I cannot get out on my own. I need a savior. I need someone to pull me out. I need Jesus.
Relationship. In our prayer, let us lift-up to God our sins. When have we hurt or damaged others by what we have done or what we have failed to do? Dig down and unearth our own assumptions about race, privilege, gender. Do I believe that I am better than someone else because of the color of my skin, the education I have, the work I do, the money I make, the sufferings I have endured, or my gender? Lift-up, too, all the relationships that have given you life, that you treasure, and give thanks to God for them.
Fasting is harder when it comes to relationships. How do I give-up prejudice? We need to fast from our own righteousness, our own assumptions that I am somehow better than another person. Blanket statements do not work here. We are better than others in somethings; I am a buffoon on the basketball court, but I write well. No, we need to unearth our assumptions about race, gender, class. We need to fast from our superiority.
Our almsgiving, our stepping-up, may ask us to seek out an old, and broken, relationship. It may also ask us to acknowledge the injury we have done as well as the excuses we have hidden behind. It may also demand a conversation – with those closest to us – about things we have ignored or have hoped would go away.
This can be a scary place – this land of broken relationships. We can easily feel overwhelmed. Be honest. Take the next step. Keep your eyes on Jesus. It is a cross. It will be painful. It will lead to new life.